Pushers (used to) Get Pushed

The bully epidemic of recent years is being handled so poorly it makes me wish stupidity was a crime. Misdemeanor at the very least.

I was watching a Stephen King movie, "Storm of the Century", one day and a line in a scene early in the movie really screams -this movie was made in the 1990's. The way the world works now is very different, you'd never see a scene like this in real life past 1999.

It went like this; a little boy pushed another kid, and the adult grabs hold of the little brat, looks him in the eye and tells him don't push people because "pushers get pushed back," and you wouldn't like that, would you?

That's the difference. Back then we weren't afraid to push back.

Seems to me like society is demonizing the pusher and victimizing the pushed and taking these roles way too far. When you're talking about kids, that's really horrifying!

Schools boast zero tolerance on bullies, throwing kids out of school over simple altercations, even filing criminal charges, against kids. A bully is still a kid! Why is nobody offering these kids some counseling?  A happy, well cared for child doesn't go to school and mistreat their peers.

If a child is being abused at home then goes to school and pushes other kids, most likely not knowing it's unacceptable because their life at home is violent, they don't know any different. And if the police are involved, what happens to this kid? Their outlook on life changes, they're a criminal now.

Forget an education, son, it's more important that you're locked away so those "good" kids can get the education they deserve.

And so much WORSE, is how we treat the kid who got pushed. You're coddling the kid now, but who will take care of the mess of an adult you've created after school is over? A kid needs to know how to take care of themselves!!! THAT is your job as a parent, to teach this tiny person you made how to survive in this life.

If you always feed him fish, he will starve when you can no longer do the fishing. But if you teach him to fish, he can feed you both when you are too old to fish. A child is a blank canvas. They only learn what you teach them.

You poor darling little victim, please, please don't kill yourself because you had a bad day.

My son was bullied for years. One day on the playground a kid walked up and kicked my baby boy right in the eye, for digging in the sand. I, of course, was feeling murderous. The school promised to separate the two. But they didn't. The little monster was not switched to another class, was not moved to the other side of the playground, or the lunch table. The only action the school took was sending both my son and his bully home for the remainder of that day. Zero tolerance, my ass.

I told my son the same I tell all of my kids; don't ever start a fight, but if someone else does, you better finish it. Mama's always got your back, my boy.

Stop victimizing your kids, people. It's not okay to be mean, but it's not okay to accept others being mean to you either. It's sickening that so many kids are taking their lives so young these days. To think they really have nothing important enough in their lives to keep them out of that dark place in their minds. Don't teach your kids to be weak!

My suggestion for both bullies and bullied is find them a hobby. Something they enjoy, that will engage their minds and satisfy their human need for social interaction. Something they can take pride in, make friends with similar interests, and make them feel they are a part of something. Be it sports, art, music, anything to occupy the time they may otherwise use trolling the internet or cutting their wrists for lack of better things to do with their day.

And for fuck sake, tell your kids to stop taking everything so damn personally. Not everybody is going to like you, not everyone will want to be your friend, and that's okay! Teach your kids they don't NEED the approval of absolutely everyone they meet. A few good friends is all a person needs. Quality over quantity!

Don't turn them into attention seeking little snots who can't handle criticism. (Think about an adult with this quality, because someday your kid will be one). Show them that yes, words can hurt, but only if you let them! And there's a big difference between hearing unkind words from a loved one and from someone whose opinion just shouldn't matter to you.

So what if you don't like me? I don't need you to,
and frankly, I don't like you either.

 We weren't built to get along with everyone. Some personalities just clash, no matter what kind of effort you put into getting along, it's never going to work. And that's okay!

No reason to make a big deal of it.