Malone man's crazy opinion on welfare

I just found this opinion piece published on a local news site that made me shake my head. "Put me in charge of welfare", says Malone man. Already I'm chuckling because Malone is like the Detroit of Upstate New York. Main street is dotted with rows of dark, abandoned shops. Many locals travel on foot for lack of faster transportation and jobs are scarce down town.

Detroit Suburb

Most of these buildings on Main St are empty

More folks in prison than in church

Thank heavens we have a man with all the answers though! John Crump of Malone urges the Editor of North Country Now to appoint him the king of welfare.

Friday, April 1, 2016 - 6:22 am 

To the Editor:

Put me in charge of food stamps.

First thing I'd do is get rid of SNAP cards. No cash for Ding Dongs, Ho Ho's or snickety snacks of any kind. Just vouchers for 50-pound bags of rice or beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you could haul away.

If you want steak and pizza, then get a job.

 Well there's your first mistake, Crump. I don't believe the editor of the local rag has that power.

Bravo on the well planned food rations. A person can't survive forever on government issue bulk processed cheese flavored food dried beans and powdered milk. That's just begging for a weekly trip to the doctor. But the poor will probably die off pretty quickly on this diet anyway, so .

But Crump goes on...

Put me in charge of Medicaid.

The first thing I'd do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal legations. Then test all the recipients in the family for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine.
If you want to reproduce, use drugs, swill alcohol, or smoke then get a job.

 Oh how perfect; he's got the medicaid angle covered too. So when Crump is king of welfare the poor will all be sterilized by force and sober as a priest. The confusing part of his rules is that the majority of those on welfare do have jobs, often more than one. Employers just don't pay enough to survive on.

Most employers around here will hire their entire staff as part time to avoid paying for insurance and pay minimum wage, cutting hours as low as four hours a week. So those with jobs often can't afford medical insurance either let alone pizza and steak.

Crump goes on;

You will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a government job. This job may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, working on a farm to provide food for welfare recipients or whatever else we find for you.

Welfare recipients already have to do mandatory volunteer work or similar activities like skills training. They volunteer at the local food pantries or clean public buildings.

He also wants to sell off the poor's posessions. Apparently all us poor folks own fancy tires and loud stereos. Well, we do have a loud stereo, but I'll tell you what, Crump, that stereo was a gift (and about 30 years old) and the speakers were mostly salvaged from scrap yards. Go ahead and try to sell it, and enjoy your hard earned $5.

Crump wants to punish the poor for their terrible life mistakes and try to teach them a concentration camp style lesson. Work hard for your slave rations or starve.

His last two points really concern me. "...while you are on government assistance, you cannot receive an income tax return."

Um, excuse me? If I worked within the last fiscal year you bet your ass I'm claiming my return. Like I said, the majority of welfare recipients actually HAVE A JOB. And with all the lay-offs, a lot of people recently had jobs.

And his final royal decree being that while receiving government assistance you, American citizen, voluntarily renounce your right to vote.

"Yes, that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest."

Oh, wow.

However, nowhere in his letter has Mr. Crump shared his qualifications for the job of being in charge of welfare.

Gotta love people who believe every meme they find on Facebook. LOL