How to have FUN in WINTER

So we're half way through this abysmal season, you're pale and bored and your children are driving you to drink. Maybe they have the week off school for mid winter break like mine does. Maybe you just sat home for three days straight through a nasty ice storm like I did. And if you're like me, nothing about being cold appeals to you. So here's some activities to try with the little bastards before you start going bald from frustration. 

If the weather permits, here's some snow-friendly things to do for fun.

SNOW PAINT

A really easy way to occupy the monsters. Add food coloring to water in a bottle, shake it up and send them outside. 

To make the colors bright use the gel kind of food coloring. ;)


Found at http://www.thesitsgirls.com/diy/diy-snow-paint/

Make a snow-something

Forget a boring old snowman. Make those lazy fuckers use their imagination. 

There's some really cute ideas here
 http://mommyshorts.com/2015/01/24-clever-ways-to-build-a-snowman.html

Pallet Igloo

So, this is the coolest idea ever. Cuz igloos are fun, but a major pain in the butt to make. 

This obviously requires some pre-planning but how friggin cool is this thing?!

Found it here 
http://www.1001pallets.com/2014/02/beforeafter-pallet-igloo/

Winter Science For Kids

These look fun. 
Wonder what a frozen bubble does? Pop or shatter?

My girls will think they're Elsa and Anna when they see this shit.

Find more here
http://www.growingajeweledrose.com/2015/01/winter-science-for-kids.html

Rainbow Ice Globes

Ooooh pretty.

Just balloons filled with water and food coloring, popped, and plopped outside. 

They'll look fun when they melt too.

Source: Not sure to be honest. Clicked the link given with this photo on Pinterest but couldn't find this photo or anything about it.

Ice Candle Holder

It's so preeeety. Not for the younger little bastards but the older ones might enjoy freezing some pretty shit stuffed between a couple tin cans.  

(My sister will like this one. I can see my niece and nephew rounding up cans right now... haha)

Find the instructions for how to do it here

http://www.practicallyfunctional.com/make-ice-lanterns-5/#_a5y_p=3029720

Snow Candy

The "Snow Cream" looks good =)

Find the recipes here

http://happilyuprooted.com/winter-storm-atlas-cheyenne-wyoming/

Another Snow Cream Recipe

This really looks good. And fun. Go make mama some snow cream, minions. 

http://www.gimmesomeoven.com/how-to-make-snow-ice-cream-recipe/#_a5y_p=1164219

Melted Snowman Cookies

These are just too cute. Looks like sugar cookies topped with home made white icing with a marshmallow, cinnamon buttons and some frosting details. 

Adorable!

No recipe came with this, just the photo. The only credit that came with it was to Pinterest. Thank you unknown Pinterest user.

So you're on your own with this one. Send me your results if you want to share. =) damncrazyhippy@gmail.com

Home Made Play Dough

I think I'll just start replacing my kids' actual brand name play doh with this stuff. 

I can't stand the smell of Play Doh. 





Find it here

http://livingwellmom.com/2012/02/easy-homemade-playdough-recipe

Frozen Gack Stuff

My girls are gonna freak over this stuff. 









Recipe here

http://pagingfunmums.com/2014/06/13/frozen-silly-putty/

Home-made Snow Globes

These are so pretty. I imagine mine won't be half this nice lol

Not sure where this one came from but similar ones say to just glue the figure to the lid, add sprinkles and water, glue the lid to the jar with water proof glue and you're done.  

Other COOL Ideas

Pun intended.

This page has a big list of cool shit to do. I LOVE the ice wreath and the nature ornaments. 

Get 'em here

http://www.redtedart.com/2013/12/17/snow-activities-ice-activities/

Bird Feeder Ice Wreaths

I love everything about these! 

Kids, go make mama some pretty shit for the yard.

How they did it

http://helloglow.co/birdseed-ice-ornaments/







Might as well enjoy today, even if it's cold outside. Sunshine is good for you. I definitely need more of it but I'm not a fan of the cold. 

Murder, sex and breaking the law - Happy Valentine's Day

My five year old daughter carefully wrote out around twenty valentines featuring Elsa and Anna (from the crazy popular animation "Frozen") in crooked, sometimes backward lettering, to exchange with her classmates this past week.

While adults around the world exchanged flowers, balloons, chocolates and "I love you's", traditions of love and friendship carried on from centuries ago in memorandum of Saint Valentine, a Roman priest who was martyred around 278 A.D. for performing illegal marriages.

Rebel Priest

The holiday is actually believed (by some) to go farther back. In ancient Rome pagans did Lupercalia, a festival of love and fertility celebrated February 13th-15th. Men would choose their partner's name from a box and give her a dose of his love juice. (How romantic) That was all fine and dandy until Pope Gelasius cancelled it in 496 and replaced it with Saint Valentine's Day. Cuz ya know, pagans are apparently the devil and all.

The first key party

Although an annual hedonistic swingers party just screams "LOVE", there's no evidence that connects romance to Valentine's day until Chaucer scribbled a love poem mentioning Valentines in the 14th Century. (Google "The Parliament of Fowls")

Before that, February 14th was the anniversary of that Roman priest I mentioned being beaten and beheaded. See, back in the day, Claudius II, emperor of Rome, was this bad-ass blood thirsty dude bent on fucking up your day. So bad-ass they called him Claudius the Cruel. But he needed more soldiers, and it seems a dude with a family is less into dying for his country. So this Claudius had the genius idea to ban marriage to get more soldiers and this Valentine guy, being a romantic, and a bit of a bad-ass rebel himself, was still tying knots on the sly.

Well Valentine got busted performing the dirty deed (marriage that is) and they dragged his ass (literally) to the town square and beat him to death with clubs before they chopped his head off. He was sainted and his severed, rotten skull now sits in a Roman church with a crown of flowers on it. (Gross).

And over here; Valentine's former head. 

Legend has it that Valentine befriended the jailer's blind daughter and miraculously cured her, giving her sight. And on the night before his execution he left her a note and signed it "from your Valentine".

In the 18th Century, England fell in love with love, and the Valentine's Day holiday really took off. Folks started giving simple gifts along with the notes or cards to their sweethearts. And then Hallmark took over in early 20th Century and made Valentine's Day the over-rated commercial disaster it is today.


So, from hedonist sex parties, rebellious law breaking and brutal murder to over priced cards with gushy poems, pink and red carnations and little red teddy bears that squeak the chorus of well known love song, the holiday of love has changed quite a bit. (Although some of us are still down for some freaky love making and general rebellion) JS

Happy Valentine's Day, from your fav gypsy ;)


Enjoy these vintage Valentine's Day cards google found for me...

Aww it's so cute

Vintage Innuendo

When your best girl won't put out

Creepy

Voodoo magic

<3<3<3

Facebook Found Recipes pt.1

Hey people, here's some of those wonderful-looking recipes we've all seen floating around Facebook at some point or another. I managed to round some up, some I'm dying to try so let me know how they turn out if you try any.

Since I'm using plain ol' copy+paste some of these are already linked and credited appropriately. A few I don't know who to credit to, apart from "Anonymous Facebook User", but thank you, A.F.U., from the bottom of my stomach, for all the great ideas!


BUFFALO CHICKEN MAC N CHEESE

Author: Organize Yourself Skinny

Ingredients
8 ounces whole wheat elbow noodles, cooked al dente
1 ½ cups chicken stock
1 cup 1% milk
1 tablespoon whole wheat flour
½ teaspoon granulated garlic
½ teaspoon onion powder
¼ teaspoon salt
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
¼ cup shredded asiago cheese (or parmesan)
1 ½ cups shredded buffalo chicken
1 tablespoon panko bread crumbs
Instructions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
In a medium to large pot, over medium heat, whisk together chicken stock, milk, and flour. Whisk until flour is completely dissolved.
Cook until bubbly, about 5-7 minutes.
Stir in granulated garlic, onion powder, salt, and both cheeses. Stir until smooth, about 3 minutes. Remove from heat.
Place pasta in an 8 x8 baking pan coated with cooking spray. Mix shredded chicken in with pasta. Pour cheese sauce over pasta and chicken then stir until it is all evenly coated.
Sprinkle bread crumbs over top and bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes, or until bubbly. Let sit for 3 minutes then enjoy.

Amish Cinnamon Bread

Batter:

1 cup butter, softened
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
2 cups buttermilk or 2 cups milk plus 2 tablespoons vinegar or lemon juice
4 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda

Cinnamon/sugar mixture: 2/3 cups sugar, 2 teaspoons cinnamon

Cream together butter, 2 cups of sugar, and eggs. Add milk, flour, and baking soda. Put 1/2 of batter (or a little less) into greased loaf pans (1/4 in each pan). Mix in separate bowl the 2/3 c sugar and cinnamon. Sprinkle 3/4 of cinnamon mixture on top of the 1/2 batter in each pan. Add remaining batter to pans; sprinkle with last of cinnamon topping. Swirl with a knife. Bake at 350 degrees for 45-50 min. or until toothpick tester come clean.
Cool in pan for 20 minutes before removing from pan.

No Bake Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Balls 

Author: James Jarrell

1-18 oz. jar of smooth or chunky peanut buter - I prefer smooth

1 - 16 oz. bag of confectioners sugar

1/4 c. butter, melted

chocolate almond bark or

chocolate candy melts or

12 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips & 2 tsp. shortening

In a large bowl, stir together the peanut butter, confectioners sugar and melted butter until the mixture is crumbly. For the next step, the best way that I've found to make a smooth filling is to use your hands to mix everything together.

Line a baking sheet with foil. Roll the peanut butter filling into 1 inch balls and line the baking sheet with rows of the balls. Set the baking sheet in the freezer for 5-7 minutes to chill the peanut butter balls for easier dipping.

While the peanut butter balls are chilling, melt the chocolate in the microwave in a microwave safe bowl that is deep enough for dipping. I melted 6 blocks of chocolate almond bark at a time, stirring at 45 second intervals until smooth.

Remove the baking sheet from the freezer. Insert a toothpick or wooden skewer into a peanut butter ball and then dip it into the chocolate, turning quickly to cover the entire candy. Place onto a second baking tray that has also been lined with foil. Swirl the chocolate on the top of each candy for a pretty design. Refrigerate until the chocolate is completely dried.

Store the candies in a sealed container in the refrigerator.

CROCKPOT FREEZER RECIPES

Fill your Freezer with these delicious pre-made meals, then dump them into your slow cooker before you head out the door.

Hawaiian Chicken Sandwiches
Savory Pepper Steak
Scalloped Potatoes and Ham
Salsa Chicken
Chicken Curry

Get all the Recipes here  http://www.six-cents.com/…/crockpot-freezer-cooking-101.html

No-Bake Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies

1 1/2 cups sugar
Dash of salt
1 stick butter (1/2 cup)
1/2 cup milk
1 cup peanut butter
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 1/2 cups oatmeal
Waxed paper

In a large saucepan bring to a boil the sugar, salt, butter and milk. Boil mixture over medium heat for 1 full minute. Remove from heat immediately.

Add peanut butter and vanilla; stir well. Add oatmeal and stir until thoroughly incorporated. On a sheet of waxed paper, drop mixture by the teaspoonfuls. Drizzle with a mixture of cocoa, powdered sugar and water if desired. Cool until set and firm.

OREO BALLS

Ingredients:
1 package Oreo Cookies
1 block cream cheese, softened
1 pack Cooking Chocolate (Hershey's Semi sweet chocolate chips the best)

1. Place Oreo Cookies in a bag/blender and smash/blend until it is the consistency of dirt.
2. Mix the softened cream cheese into the smashed oreos.
3. Roll the mixture into balls.
4. Melt chocolate in the microwave.
5. Cover balls in chocolate then leave to set in the fridge.

CHOCOLATE STRAWBERRIES

Spray an ice cube tray with a small amount of oil.

Slice strawberries and place half in each hole of tray.

Melt dark chocolate bars or chips on your stove top in a small cooking pot. (3 large bars for each pint of strawberries)

Pour over strawberries.
Cool in fridge for 1 hour.
Invert tray and pop out!

PAULA DEEN'S 5 MINUTE FUDGE:

Ingredients
1 2/3 cups white sugar
2/3 cup evaporated milk
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 (6 ounce) package milk chocolate chips
16 large marshmallows
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup chopped nuts

Direction
1.Combine sugar, milk, butter and salt in a medium sized saucepan. Bring to a boil, cook 5 minutes, stirring constantly.
2.Add in chocolate chips; cook until melted.
3.Remove from heat; stir in marshmallows, vanilla and nuts. Mix well.
4.Pour into a 8-inch pan.
Cool cut into squares.

CARAMEL APPLE BITES

1 bag (11 oz.) KRAFT Caramel Bits
2 Tbsp. water

Make apple rounds with melon baller.

INSERT one candy stick into each apple round. Cover plate with waxed paper; spray with cooking spray. Set aside.

PLACE caramel bits in medium saucepan. Add water; cook on medium-low heat 3 min. or until caramel bits are completely melted, stirring constantly.

DIP apples into melted caramel until evenly coated, spooning caramel over apples if necessary. Allow excess caramel to drip off. Scrape bottoms of apples; place on prepared plate. Refrigerate at least 1 hour. Remove from refrigerator 15 min. before serving. Store any leftover apples in refrigerator

* Could also be used with candy apple recipe

2 cups white sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
1 1/2 cups water
8 drops red food coloring

1. Lightly grease cookie sheets. Insert craft sticks into whole, stemmed apples.
2. In a medium saucepan over medium-high heat, combine sugar, corn syrup and water. Heat to 300 to 310 degrees F (149 to 154 degrees C), or until a small amount of syrup dropped into cold water forms hard, brittle threads. Remove from heat and stir in food coloring.
3. Dip apple pieces in caramel and let stand to set.

"FINGER FOOD"

Hot dogs, onion slices and ketchup for a creepy Halloween meal. My kids LOVE these!

MAGIC MELTING DRINKS

I haven't tried this but it sounds fun, right?











I haven't tried some of these yet, so leave me some comments on how yours turn out!

Garbage Posts and Weird Scams

There's a lot of weird crap on the internet. Like, a LOT of really weird stuff. Which is cool. Where else would you find shit this weird? Real life? Doubt it. But people tend to believe it all. You name it, I guarantee there's a group of suckers out there willing to whole heartedly accept it as fact.

Not just chupacabra and big foot, but flesh eating parasites that live in your bras,

OMG I have this! (Photoshop, I mean, not the boob eating bugs)

Magic lamps made of pink salt, 

Have a legit medical condition? Plug in this hunk of salt and be cured!

And don't get me started on these things... 

Buy these rocks and life will be grand!

And people buy it! Literally! 

But if you google these things, the parasites are total bullshit. A photoshop job, for only God knows what reason. 

   "This image appears to be the product of the melding of a photograph of a woman's breast and a picture of something similar to a lotus seed pod: " - http://www.snopes.com/photos/medical/breastrash.asp

Thanks again, Snopes.com

The salt lamp has ZERO scientific evidence to back it up (according to wikipedia) although I've heard some people say there have been studies to support some of these claims, but the evidence was not overwhelmingly awesome anyway. 

   "There actually are studies out there. The negative ions that are said to do all of the above are very low, so they would not do a significant amount of good." - Facebook user

As for the crystals (rocks), a plastic one can do all the same tricks. It really is all in your head, in this case. And that's okay, just don't spend a fortune on rocks expecting them to cure your terminal illness. You may be more than a little disappointed. 

   "A study has shown that the sensations reported by believers in crystals – such as tingling, warmth and feelings of well-being – come instead from the power of suggestion. When given cheap, fake crystals, people reported exactly the same mysterious sensations as when they handle the genuine articles." - https://sciencebasedlife.wordpress.com/2011/09/05/crystal-healing-magic-cures-or-just-rocks/

Moral of the story- Don't be a fool. Do your homework before you fall for any old thing you read and definitely don't invest your hard earned money in something you heard about on the internet before you research it. Scams are only lucrative for the scammer, and you, my friend could wind up scammed.

Common-core-ism

My brother-in-law started up a conversation at my step son's birthday party yesterday about common core. Parents hate it. Kids don't understand it. Teachers seem split on whether they hate or love it. It's been a big topic since it appeared.

The math, specifically, has copped a LOT of fame around the internet for its ludicrous word problems.

It doesn't really matter how you say it, the answer is always wrong.

I've seen my eleven year old niece's homework. And at 31 years old, with an IQ around 140, and a college education, I couldn't make heads nor tails of it.

Gibberish

 Personally, this worries me far beyond not being able to help my kids with their homework. I have two reasons this garbage math is a major concern.

For one, it's causing a huge gap between the generations. If I can't help my children with their homework for lack of understanding what the heck they're talking about then they will have to turn somewhere else for assistance. I don't like that at all. It's the role of the parents to pass along knowledge. This common core bullshit is taking that away from me. I'm no psychologist but I'd imagine that could put all kinds of nasty things between my children and I. Like lack of respect. Let a kid think they know better than their parent on one subject and that kid will assume they know better on any subject. Chaos may ensue.

Younger kids believe their parents know everything, and in many cases that simple belief is the only reason they choose to obey rules laid down for their safety and well being. When I can't even tell them how (let alone WHY) to do their homework correctly that slaps a dose of doubt into their supple little minds and that doubt could easily creep into their heads when they're not allowed to play near traffic. 'Cuz Mama can't even figure out second grade math, what could she know about traffic, the idiot!

But even worse than the thought of my children doubting me is the thought that they're being groomed as quiet, obedient little sheep who answer to Uncle Sam and never Mama. (Woah, crazy, where are you going with this conspiracy theory? Ok, hear me out...)

In my day the teacher didn't give a crap about HOW you got there, only that your answer is correct. (Unless how you got there was copying off your friend's paper). Now they don't care if your answer is correct, only that you got that answer using the same method as everyone else.

The focus of education has shifted from doing it right to doing it their way.

What the ?!$&*!!

So my brother-in-law was saying that he understands Common Core because that's the way he would figure out how to get the answer, and I explained that way makes no sense to me, I'd remember it this other way. But we would both arrive at the same answer. So my question is why does the "how" matter? We all learn differently and we all remember things differently.

Common Core is teaching our children that it's not OK to be different. (While schools are struggling with a "bully epidemic" they're teaching intolerance of diversity!

The "man" is actively teaching our youth to shut up and obey. To keep their heads down and never think outside the box they're assigned to. The herd is easier to control that way. (Did you ever watch Divergent?)

Makes you think...
(Unless they already boxed you in!)